Standing out in a Crowd

There are several things you can do to get a man to notice you, or overall to get MEN (plural) to notice you! IT will all depend on what capacity you know him.

If you are working with someone you are interested in, there are a couple things you can do to get yourself noticed:

1. Always look good when you are going to work-Don’t overdo it with the makeup, but make sure you dress professional, yet sleek and sexy. Don’t got over the top, you don’t want to get a phone call from HR!! There are several ways to do the sexy thing without it looking slutty. Pencil skirts look really good if your hips aren’t too big, and they show off a little leg. Tight blouses with nice black tight pants are great too.  Make sure your hair is always done, even if it’s in a ponytail make sure it looks cute and you wear some nice hoop earrings.  Always wear a little lip gloss to make your lips shiny, men love this. Mascara also brings out your eyes, so if you don’t wear much makeup, just make sure to wear a little mascara and some lip gloss. Sit up strait in your chair, you never know who is looking and you don’t want to be slouched over.  Last but not least, be confidant at work!! You know what your doing, it’s your job so be confident, and as well as showing your crush that you are good at what you do, you will succeed more at work! You kill two birds with one stone.   Now here is a big no no..do NOT gain a crush on your boss or someone you work directly with or works under you. NOT A GOOD IDEA for several reasons: If it doesn’t work out, you always have to be around this person. If it’s your boss, or someone who works under you, you can both be fired!! It’s not worth it. There are too many other men out there. If it is going to be someone at the office, make sure they work in a different dept. or work for another company in your building all together.

2.Send yourself some flowers-Your crush will notice someone is interested in you, and in turn he will notice you.  Make sure they are roses or something that can be construed as romantic, not like they are from your mother. When people ask who sent them, you just say that it’s this guy who really likes you but your not really that interested. This way when your crush asks about the flowers to someone else (trust me, he probably won’t ask you, unless you are good friends) then he knows it’s not serious and he has an opening.  Make the note with the flowers say something sweet and complimentary about you, and leave the note on your desk in plain site. Trust me, people will snoop!!

3.Have a strikingly handsome male friend you can parade around with you-This works inside the office, at a bar, a club, a restaurant, etc… pretty much wherever.  When a man sees you have a good looking male on your arm, he is more likely to approach you.  If anyone asks about your sexy friend..make sure to say “Oh, we are just good friends”, with a smirk on your face.

Now Getting Noticed in a Club or Bar: In my opinion these aren’t the best places to meet men, but some of my friends are happily married to men they met in bars, and if you are still in college, chances are that’s where you will meet the bulk of men you want to date, or in class.

1.Never go up to a man first, but make eye contact-Quick little flirtatious glances his way will signal to a guy you might be interested.  Men pick up on these cues.  Whatever you do..DON’T STARE!! It makes you look desperate, or crazy..one of the two and neither is good ;-). Don’t focus on just one guy, that’s the bonus of being at a bar or club, there are many to pick from so flirt around a bit. Be picky though, don’t go overboard and start flirting with every guy in the place, then you look like a slut, and only the WRONG guys will want that kind of girl.

2.Get out on the dance floor-Dance with your girlfriends, have fun and if a guy you think is cute comes up to dance with you, go for it. Now, I shouldn’t have to say this, but knowing some of my clients, I have to..DON’T start freak dancing or grinding on a guy. NOT ATTRACTIVE..at ALL, plus it sends the wrong message. Remember girls, we are here to meet the men of our dreams and show them that we are a rare catch, not the town catch..know what I mean?? Don’t do anything you would look at another girl and be disgusted by.  Just dance with a little space between you, and smile a lot, show him your having fun! Don’t spend forever on the dance floor though, because you do want to talk to this guy before the night is over. So after a couple songs, say you are going to sit down and cool off, or have a drink.  If he offers to buy you one, make sure you watch them pour the drink and serve it to you. DON’T LET a GUY BRING YOU A DRINK TO THE TABLE, that is how date rape happens, and your better safe than sorry.  If he doesn’t offer to buy you a drink, buy one yourself. It shows your independence. Sip it slowly and talk to him for a little bit, but not too long. The key with this all is balance. You always want to keep them wanting more!! Chat him up a bit, then get back to your girlfriends. If he is interested, he will ask for your number. If he isn’t, he wont..it’s that simple. Don’t ask for his number either, that takes the ball out of your court because then you will never know where you stand, you won’t know if he gave you the number to just get some action, to just get you away from him, or because he likes you but wasn’t THAT interested enough to get it himself. Whatever you do, don’t go back to his house with your girlfriends or anything like that. If he offers, say that is nice of him but you have to get up early, have things to do whatever, but would love to see him another time. Make him work to see you again, and take you out.

3.Don’t stay forever-Like I mentioned before you want to be elusive, you want him to have to work for your affections. Don’t kiss him goodnight, except for maybe one on the cheek.  Move on to another club where you can up your chances of meeting new men there.  Follow the same rules at that club or bar, and then go home with your girlfriends as planned. If they leave you to go home with a guy, than they aren’t being smart, but you know better. Take a cab home, at least you know you are safe that way.

Meeting a guy through Friends: Have your friends with boyfriends bring their cute friends out with them when they go out with you.  I’m not a big fan of blind dates, because you don’t know what you are getting into, and if you aren’t into them then you are wasting your time, his time and it can just be awful and uncomfortable especially when they don’t get the hint. So the best way to get around this is to tell your girlfriends next time you guys go out to have her boyfriend bring a few guy friends.  That way you can talk to who you want, and it’s not like your on a date per se so your not stuck with this guy the whole night.  If your interested in one of his friends, don’t act like your in 7th grade and go through your friend. Just talk to him and stick to the RULES!! Don’t linger when you talk, make sure to vary it up and talk to other people besides just him throughout the night, and get home at a reasonable hour.  If he is interested, he will get your number and take you on a proper date.

Meeting a guy on the Internet:Myspace, Facebook etc…These places have become more and more popular for meeting men.  You can meet some really nice people on the Net, but make sure to read my blog about specifically meeting a man on the Web, because It goes way more into detail than I am going to go here.

1.Have flattering pictures only of you on your site-You want to make sure they are current, because you don’t want to end up on the date and the guy accuses you of looking nothing like your pics. You also don’t want a bunch of pictures with ex boyfriends, kissing random guys etc..it makes you look bad.  Make your page look classy, and be honest when you fill out the portion on who you would like to meet: a nice, laid back guy who shares your interests (whatever those may be).

2.Don’t give away too much information on your page-you don’t want to have men stalking you and knowing too much. Also, it gives you way more to talk about on your date.

3.Don’t put anything on your site you wouldn’t feel comfortable if a boss or employer saw-A lot of employers now check out people’s myspace and facebook pages before hiring someone so you will want to be sure nothing on your page can get you in trouble.  (True story: I know a girl who got fired because she had on her myspace page how she was drinking and hung over when she took the day off and was supposed to be sick). Just be careful, remember anyone can read anything you put on the Net, and it stays there forever!!

4.I met my fiancee on Myspace, so I think it’s a wonderful thing. Never in a million years did I think I would meet the love of my life on the internet. I always thought it was below me and my standards. Now a days virtually everyone has a Facebook or Myspace page, so it’s a lot more acceptable and happens a lot more. I was very careful though, we talked on myspace for about 2 weeks, then starting IM’ing for a couple days before we ever went out. So it was a solid 3 weeks before we ever met face to face.

Just use your judgment, and be smart. It’s better safe than sorry.

These are the different ways to get yourself out there, and meet people..there are many more: the gym, Starbucks, the Library, school, etc..but here are some ways to get started.

Remember, I have my membership site up now, so if you want to email me a question, sign up in the middle collumn at the bottom through PayPal, and you can email me detailed questions, and I will respond with specific, detailed answers.  You can email me as many times as you want for as long as you sign up for.  Kirsten@mercenaryx.com is my email, I look forward to your questions!

I have always had friends that have come to me and asked me how I always get the “un-gettable” man. The answer I always give them is to follow the rules.  I am currently writing a book on How to Get The Man You Want, so I can’t share all my secrets with you yet, but if you email me a direct question asking for advice on how to get a man you are interested in, I will give you my secret, fail-proof tips on how to get him. I also give advice on gay relationships, because most of the same rules apply.  I have always gotten the man I want, not because I am the most gorgeous girl in the world, but it’s because I know how to follow the rules, and get a man to fall for ME. Now some of you will protest and say, I don’t need to play games in order to get the man I want, he should like me for me, and all the other feminist propaganda. Well, that’s all perfect and dandy, but where has it gotten you so far? Listen, if that works for you, great. But if you are looking for some help in the dating department, I’m here to help I’m not advocating that you act like someone your not, I’m simply saying in the beginning, you need to stick to a plan, follow these rules and get him to fall in love with you. You should always be yourself, I’m not saying to act like a different person, just act like a more confident YOU, and don’t do the big mistakes that most women make in the beginning. Men want what they can’t have, and if they think they have to work to get you, you will see the results you seek.

A few things to do are:

1.Never ask a guy out first-I understand we are living in the year 2008, and a lot of you will argue this point with me, but I promise you I know what I am talking about. Sure, you might get the FIRST or SECOND date, but that guy will never forget you asked him out first. Also, how will you ever know if he is truly interested if he didn’t go through the trouble of asking you out first???  A guy should think you are a coveted woman and that he has to work for your attention, don’t make it easy on him!!  Be a creature of mystery!

2.Never kiss him first-Again, Make him go the extra mile, don’t let him think you kiss every guy you go out with! Also, it depends on the circumstances, but don’t always kiss on the first date. You will have to email me on this one, because there are extenuating circumstances on this rule. Do NOT however, kiss him first on the first date or second date.

3.Don’t call or text him first-Give him your number if he asks for it, but don’t track him down or ask for his number. Wait for him to call you. Again, I can’t stress enough, if you want a guy to fall for you, you have to make it a little difficult on him.  Don’t let him think you are desperate and will go out with just any man that asks for your number. BE CONFIDANT, and act like guys ask for your number, and ask you out all the time. You have to play like you are used to every man wanting to date you.

**You must always be confidant, hold your head high, be intelligent, and interesting. Even if you aren’t the prettiest girl in the world, it doesn’t matter. Make him think you feel and act like the prettiest girl in the world.  Sure, looks will get guys attention, but keeping his attention is in these details I am describing to you.

3a.  If he calls you for a date, don’t stay on the phone gabbing for more than 10 minutes, and don’t accept a date for Friday night if he calls you Friday afternoon-That will make you look like  you have been waiting for his call, and it makes you look easy. He must at least give you a day’s notice for a date. If he asks you out for Friday night, that afternoon, even if your sitting at home doing nothing DO NOT GO ON THE DATE. Say something like “I would love to, but I already have plans for tonight.” Then let him ask you if Saturday will work. That’s when you can say YES! Also, when he calls you, don’t gab on and on about your life story, how excited you are, how long you have been waiting for him to ask you out..etc.. Keep it simple. Talk about what you two are going to do, make small talk, then say “Great, I look forward to going out tomorrow, but I have to run. I’ll see you tomorrow”. THE END.

For more advice on getting the first date, email me at kirsten@mercenaryx.com for detailed advice. I will tell you everything you want to know, from what to wear, how to get him to notice you, what to say etc..

My next blog will be more rules about the actual date, but email any questions you have, whether your in a relationship already,  your having problems in your relationship, to any question you can think of that is about dating.  You can sign up by month, quarterly, annually or lifetime memberships at the bottom of the page in the middle column.  What this means is that you can ask as MANY questions as you want during that time period, and allow for around a 1-2 hour turnaround time, but I do get about 30 emails a day, so at the very latest I guarantee a 24 turnaround time, but it never ends up taking that long.  **Just a little more to explain the membership fee, for example if you buy the yearly membership you can ask me as many questions as you would like within that year.  Even if it’s 10 questions a day, it doesn’t matter, and all of the will be answered in the guarantee period. ** I look forward to all of your questions!I look forward to your emails!! Happy Dating!!

Sincerely,

Ask Kirsten

~The Man of your Dreams is only a few Rules Away